Three Years Old

I'm not quite sure how this happened, but this website, this bastion of uncomfortably large cock jokes, has now been in existence for three years. I have only one real question: What the fuck is wrong with you people?

I mean really? What's your excuse for coming back to read the retarded Bourbon induced crazy ramblings of some stranger? I mean, I know I'm funny, but damn, I'm not that funny. I keep writing sub-par shit and yet you keep reading.

Seriously though, thanks to everyone for reading. Just do me one favor: go find someone that isn't reading this site, and then kick their ass and make them read the site. And then send me naked pictures. And money; send me money. And then get me a book deal so that I can rightfully look down on Jeremy Blachman for something other than my uncomfortably large cock. That's more than one favor, but do them all.

Best of NDC: Three Years Strong(ish)
Make Out With the Bartender
How To Do a Takehome Exam
Summer Plans
My Mother Still Hates Me: Here; Here; And Here
I Finally Get Kicked Out Of the Bar
Fucking Douche
Don't Fuck With Me
Live Like a 3L
Why I Shouldn't Have Kids
Fucking the Stripper
Go Clapton
Best Text Message In the History of the WORLD
I Still Shouldn't Have Kids
Law Revue