Slap My Ass And Call Me Jesus

I feel it is now my ethical obligation to officially move that the MPRE be discontinued as part of the bar admission process in all fifty states. I take this position not because I failed the exam and am pissed off, but rather because I passed the exam. I am, apparently, ethical enough to be a lawyer in all fifty states.

This makes no sense. The fact that I was able to pass this exam with the small amount of studying I did proves the total ineffectiveness of this exam to measure either 1) actual knowledge, or 2) actual ethics. Sure I know some of the important rules, but all that really means in the grand scheme of things is that I’ll know when I’m violating the rules.

Because lord am I going to violate the rules. I’d say that I’m going to steal money from my clients, but I’m going to be a public defender and, let’s face it, they probably (yes, just probably) need that eighteen cents more than I do. But you better believe I’m going to fuck every single moderately attractive female client that walks through my door in an orange jumpsuit and handcuffs telling me she needs to stay in jail because she wants a break from her sixteen children. I’m also willing to lie from them, as long as they hook me up with some quality drug connections. What’s that? You were somewhere else when that crime was committed? Was anyone with you that can corroborate that fact? Cause I’m willing to back you up if you know where I can get some smack. . .

To sum up, even law school exams that aren’t administered by the law school are complete loads of utter shit. Just like your mother.