Slacker Update

Since I haven’t posted in approximately sixteen years, here’s a half-assed update of random shit. If you don’t like it, well, you can go fuck yourself right in the asshole. With a brick. Without lube.

I took that goddamned piece of shit MPRE. If I am able to pass this then that proves the complete ineffectiveness of this exam at gauging how ethical anyone will ever be. If I fail the exam than the MPRE has done its job.

Nothing starts off your last spring break ever worse than having to take the goddamn MPRE.

Nothing starts off your last spring break ever better than beginning a fifteen hour drink-a-thon right after you get done with the MPRE.

Opening day for baseball is about eleven days away. This makes me so happy that I might accidentally pee myself. I am completely at ease with this.

Somehow, someway, I now have a job after graduation. I attribute this to my ability to hold my liquor. And my uncomfortably large cock.

Yes, it’s a real job; I’m not hooking on the streets or dealing drugs. Or at least that income isn’t being reported to the IRS. Yes, it’s a job as a public defender (a.k.a. keep poor people out of jail).

I did not die on St. Patrick’s Day. This amazes me just as much as everyone else. It might not have been the best idea to start the day off with a Jager bomb followed by four or so Irish car bombs, but that’s how I roll, yo.

If all things go according to plan I will actually graduate in about two months. This amazes me just as much as everyone else.

A friend and I are planning to embarrass ourselves handily at Law Revue this year. I expect a hilarious debacle of the highest order. You may or may not agree. I may not or may not care. Yes, you read that right.

I currently have twelve thousand papers to write. I am not at ease with this.

Another post-coital sex joke: So, I think we should name our first kid “Chastity.”