My Mother Still Hates Me

Discussion between my mother and I on women:
Mom: Not all women are bad.
NDC: I never said all women are bad; I said most women are bad and all women are crazy.
Mom: And not all women are hard to put up with.
NDC: No they're not. Women are great and easy to put up with. For two hours at a time.
Mom: [Waits; knows something else is coming]
NDC: Then you find your pants and you get the fuck out of there.

Why my mother hates me: Number 1; Number 2; Number 3; Number 4; Number 5