Site Disclaimer

1. Welcome to NDC. NDC thanks you for visiting and NDC hopes you enjoy your time here.
   
2. By visiting this site you agree to all the terms and conditions that are hereinafter set forth. You also agree to all the terms and conditions that are not set forth.
   
3. If you don’t agree with the conditions that are set forth, you may 1) File a formal complaint with the complaint department, 2) Jump off a fucking bridge, 3) Stop fucking your mother, or 4) Take the dick out of your ass and get a sense of humor. You douche.
   
4. If you don’t agree with the conditions that are not set forth, you may 1) Telepathically send me a message stating that you do not agree (NDC will not be held responsible for lost or misdirected telepathic messages), 2) Send me a letter through the United States Postal Service (NDC will not provide you with an address. Unless you are a woman. A hot woman. A hot slutty woman. A hot slutty woman with huge tits. A hot slutty woman with huge tits and no standards. A hot slutty woman with huge tits, no standards, and the willingness to try anything in bed), 3) Stop fucking your mother, or 4) Go to hell. You whiny bitch.
   
5. Any and all communications on this site, or communications arising from this site, become the exclusive property of NDC. By submitting your comment/email, you expressly agree to allow NDC to post the comment/email on the website and to take your communications horribly, horribly out of context. You also agree to allow NDC to change words in your communication for the purpose of 1) Satire, 2) Humor, 3) Boredom, or 4) In order to make you sound like a racist asshole.
   
6. The content of this website is not intended to be, in any form or fashion, any sort of legal advice or any attempt to create an attorney-client relationship. This is due mostly to the fact that NDC is not an attorney and thus does not know the law well enough. Although judging from experience, he probably knows the law better than a lot lawyers out there. Additionally, why the hell would he want to represent your guilty ass?
   
7. This website expresses only those views held by NDC. It is not meant to express the views held by NDC’s law school, the law school’s employees, NDC’s classmates at the law school, anyone attending this school (including undergraduate, masters, or doctorate students), anyone employed by this school, NDC’s mistresses, wife, significant other(s), black people, or midgets.
   
8. By visiting, you hereby agree to send to NDC, within 2 weeks and by certified mail, the semi-conscious body of your first born child.
   
9. If you have no first born child, you must send to NDC any of the following 1) $4,000, 2) The mostly conscious body of your favorite pet, 3) The unconscious body of the first born child of your next door neighbor, 4) Naked video of you (if you are a woman), or 5) Naked video of a hot woman masturbating (please note, only homemade video, and not commercial porn, will be accepted.
   
10. You hereby agree that NDC may, at any time of day or any day of the year, call you while drunk in order to secure bail and/or bond.
    
11. Provision number 10 will not apply to misdemeanor arrests.
    
12. If NDC is required to go to trial you agree to contribute at least 10% of your yearly gross income to NDC’s defense fund.
    
13. If NDC is found guilty, you agree to contribute an additional 10% of your yearly gross income in order to break NDC out of prison and provide him passage to a country that has no extradition treaty with the United States. This fund will also be used to help NDC learn to speak the language, help NDC find housing and employment, and help NDC learn the local customs for purchasing hookers.
    
14. If you are an attractive woman and NDC is visiting your state, you agree to spend at least 3 hours in bed with NDC.
    
15. The attractiveness of a woman will be determined solely by NDC. Your attractiveness score may change based solely upon the whims of NDC and any factors he deems appropriate. A partial, non-inclusive, list of factors include 1) Height, 2) Weight, 3) Bra size, 4) Sexual history, 5) Level of kinkiness, 6) Inebriation level of NDC and/or you, 7) The number of narcotic drugs that NDC is currently taking.
    
16. Any reference to NDC wanting to sleep with you shall not be construed as an offer but, instead, as a mere solicitation to bid. By bidding, NDC is not bound to accept, respond, or even try to refrain from laughing after looking at your sorry ass. The power of acceptance rests fully with NDC, NDC, Inc., and its subsidiaries. Acceptance is contingent upon approval by NDC’s board of directors, CEO, and all shareholders.
    
17. Any controversy arising from this site will be governed by the law of the wolf. All disputes will be resolved by binding arbitration (that's right, ARBITRATION BITCH) held in Jamaica, or Cozumel, Mexico with all costs (including but not limited to airfare, lodging, meals, bar tab, hookers, marijuana, and cocaine) to be paid for by you. Arbitration will be governed by the uniform rules of Dodgeball as laid out by the National Amateur Dodgeball Association.
    
18. At the discretion of NDC, NDC, Inc., or NDC Inc.’s board of directors the dispute may instead by tried in a court of law applying standard military tribunal rules. If this occurs, you will not have the assistance of counsel. But NDC will. So tough shit, asshole.
    
19. You agree to be billed for your visits in monthly installements.
    
20. NDC reserves the right to steal your credit card number in order to obtain access to porn sites that require credit cards. NDC also reserves the right to ruin your credit history and not be held liable.
    
21. If you are offended by any content on this site you may, at your discretion 1) Fuck off, 2) Suck it bitch, suck it, 3) Go fuck yourself in the ass, or 4) Take it up the ass you whore.
    
22. If you have any questions NDC is available to provide clarification on any points that require it. All inquiries should be accompanied by your credit card number and expiration date, your bank account number, the routing number from your personal checks, your social security number, your mother's maiden name, and, if female, at least 3 pictures of you masturbating to this website.