You Just Got Served!(and summoned, and filed against)

I may be fighting an uphill battle in this litigation against more experienced counsel, but I have faith that this will end favorably for us.

The Lawsuit:

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Soupie’s BBQ & Daycare, Inc. and Soupie Johnson
Plaintiffs,

Against

Begging The Question, Inc. and Fitz-Hume
Defendants
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Plaintiffs Soupie’s BBQ & Daycare, Inc. and Soupie Johnson (“The Daycare”), by their attorney, Coffee and Associates, L.L.C., upon information and belief respectfully allege as follows:

1. The Daycare is a corporation incorporated in Delaware (well, duh.) with its principle place of business Missouri.
   
2. That Plaintiff did make and cause to be published on the World Wide Web (“The Interweb Thingy”) a recurring feature known as “Just Because” beginning June 3, 2004 and continuing to the present on his website (“The Acronym”).
   
3. That the Just Because feature was comprised of Plaintiff posting pictures of smokin’ hot hoes (and a few non smoking hot ones (i.e. Angelina “Dirty Redneck Man Bitch” Jolie)) on The Interweb Thingy via The Acronym.
   
4. That Plaitiff holds copyrights to all pictures of smokin’ hoes in the world.
   
5. That Plaintiff holds a patent for the procedure involved in said posting of said pictures on said Interweb Thingy via said Acronym by said Plaintiff. Said. Said said.
   
6. That Plaintiff did have and cause to be made available on his website a disclaimer and agreement of use (“Dizzisclizzer”) on his website that stated, in pertinent part, that all controversies arising from the website, including, but not limited to, viewing the sight and any claims of action that may arise from such viewings, will be governed by Missouri law (“Clizzause IzzyA”) and also included a Forum Selection Clause (“Clizzause IzzyB”) stating that all disputes would be resolved in Missouri or in Cuba, whichever would cause the defendants to travel the furthest and put them at the most risk.
   
7. That The Clizzause clearly indicates that defendant will be put in harms way the most by litigating in Cuba.
   
8. That by voluntarily accessing The Acronym, defendants did purposefully agree to the conditions set forth in the Dizzisclizzer and are thus subject to Clizzause IzziesA and B of the Dizzisclizzer.
   
9. That on October 15, 2004 defendant did post, or cause to be posted, on Defendant website (“Acronym: The Return”) a post titled “Just Because” (“The Fucking Offending Act, or FOA”).
   
10. That FOA was a post whereby Defendant did post on the Interweb Thingy, via Acronym: The Return, a picture involving numerous smokin’ hot hoes.
    
11. That Defendant is fucking infringing on Plaintiff’s copyrights.
    
12. That Defendant has a tiny penis. Like, microscopic tiny. Really. It’s smaller than the period at the end of this
    sentence. <----- That one right down there. Look how small it is!
    
13. That Defendant is violating Plaintiff’s patents for the procedure involved in said posting of said pictures on said Interweb Thingy via said Acronym by said Plaintiff.
    
14. That rumors that Defendant are gay are absolutely true.
    
15. That Hillary Duff is amazingly overrated.
    
16. That Hillary Duff is still smokin’ hot and that Defendant, Plaintiff, Plaintiff’s counsel, and Defendant’s counsel would, most likely, all love to sleep with her.
    
17. That Mr. Coffee is, by far, the coolest person that has ever lived.