Litigation Matters (unlike midgets)

In an attempt to keep everyone apprised of current litigation I am involved in I send you to The Neutral Zone Trap. Specifically, I send you to this post which contains the basis for the lawsuit #2 (not filed yet, but working on it). My specific cause of action actually arises in the comments section, beginning with the threat/challenge by E. McPan. Here is the threat, and subsequent demand letter posted in the comments:

Soupie:
"Uh... I think there is a Federal law that says you have to hate the Yankees if you are pulling for the Red Sox."

E. McPan:
"Why don't you get your lawyer, NDC, Esq., right on that?" (This is the threat that has caused emotional distress to my client.)

Soupie:
"Oooh. A challenge. My attorney is going to make you pay. And cry. Definitely cry. He has that effect on women."

Mr. Coffee, Esq.:
Dear E. McPan,
It has recently been brought to my attention by my client that you recently made some disparaging remarks to my client. I believe it can be shown that these remarks were made intentionallly with the express purpose of causing my client emotional distress. Ever since these remarks, my client has not been the same. He has had trouble sleeping, trouble performing at school, trouble eating, and has gained weight.I am hereby seeking $45 in compensatory damages and $12.5 million in punitive damages on behalf of my client. In addition, due to your remarks, my client has been unable to perform in the bedroom, and as such I am seeking $5 million to compenste Mrs. Johnson for loss of consortium. Should you refuse to meet my client's demands, we will be forced to proceed to trial.
Regards.
Mr. Coffee, Esq.

It's on. Everybody watch out. Naked Drinking Counsel is in the hizzy.